Today was supposed to be a relatively relaxing and pleasant experience at the gym doing my usual workout (today it was chest exercises). All was well with the world, and I was feeling generally pretty good but moderately tired due to a rather serious lack of sleep last night, but that’s a story for another time if ever. I went through my routine of dumbbell bench press, decline press, incline press, low, medium and high cable crossovers, unassisted dips, and military press and decided to declare victory on the war against flab for the night.
Thus armored against the impending decline of my fleshly form I bravely headed towards the men’s locker room. You know, that place where there are sinks, lockers, mirrors and showers. Since I don’t take showers in these locker rooms the main purpose of my visit was to wash my hands and towel off my face. Yes, yes, I know. Laugh at me all you want for being a pansy about public showers, but when you’re limping around with some godawful fungus crawling around your soon-to-be dearly departed toenails and Jim and Bob feel like they’ve just been doused with some unholy cocktail of kerosene, alcohol and Bengay believe me when I say I’ll be crying with laughter.
Now, recall that these locker rooms have showers. Those showers are public – in other words there is no shower door, curtain or other such obstruction. They also have mirrors. Oh, and as it turns out those mirrors are where the sinks are and that was where I was headed, quietly minding my own business. Mercifully unaware of what was about to transpire, I proceeded to wash my hands and then glanced into the mirror.
That’s when gorilla man appeared in the mirror. Naked. All 350lb of quivering hair and blubber frolicking in the shower.
My eyes are still bleeding.
December 18th, 2007 | 
This post is useless without pics.